Heartless Airlines

i know that blogging about this won't help on this tiny little space which only friends read, but it needs to be said, and damnit, i'm gonna say it.

Jeff and i booked plane tickets months ago to spend Christmas with my family in Pittsburgh. Our flights go through Cleveland, Ohio, which is only about an hour and a half from Pittsburgh. Things developed and changed, and as it turned out, Chris, Shelley, Emily, and Elizabeth, only have the 23rd open to spend with us. That's the day Jeff and i arrive.

Because of a 3 hour layover in the Cleveland airport, it actually ends up being faster for us to stop there, have my dad pick us up, and drive to Pittsburgh. So we decided we would do that, and that way we'd all be together on the 23rd for supper.

This week i decided to call Continental Airlines to make sure that it would be alright to have our baggage taken off at Cleveland, and i got rebuffed. They won't even let us stop in Cleveland. Called again, rebuffed harder. Asked Jeff to call and give them the library director voice. HE was denied and they threatened to cancel our whole itinerary if we caused any more problems. Had my dad call to give them the lawyer voice. No bones. Looks like i will not get to see Emily this Christmas, nor will Jeff get to meet her at all. My whole family will be together with them... and trust me, i don't begrudge them that... but i will be absent. And i am heartbroken.

The airline will not allow us to NOT fly from Cleveland to Pittsburgh. If we try it, they will cancel our flight and we will have no way home. Well, that's not entirely true. They will let us not fly from Cleveland to Pittsburgh... for $425 each -- more than the ticket cost in the first place. i spent every last dime i had to spare just to get home, and couldn't fathom $425 if i tried.

Over the course of this ordeal i told them... i'm just trying to get home to my family for Christmas, and if i can't get off in Cleveland, i will miss them entirely. No sympathy, no compassion. Just, "sorry, ma'am, it doesn't work that way."

Do me a favor, please. If you ever have the choice between Continental and another airline that won't cost you more than a few bucks, please, choose the other airline. They will probably never notice the difference, but who cares?

The pathetic joke becomes... what if i don't use the overhead compartment? How much is that gonna cost me?

Being Mrs. Claus

i got an e-mail a few days ago from Emily's parents with a photograph of Emily and Elizabeth with Santa and Mrs. Claus. i almost posted it but don't think that Em's parents are big on having her picture on the internet. Take my word for it: they're adorable. Anyway, the photograph got me to thinking about Lady Claus.

Girl has it made!! Here's my list of reasons why it's good to be Santa's wife:

1. Elf slaves.
2. It's not only acceptable to have a few extra pounds, it's expected of you.
3. No noisy neighbors.
4. Global warming actually works for you.
5. You get your husband to yourself for 364 days a year.


Then again....
Why it would suck to be Mrs. Claus:
1. Feigning sleep to get out of sex is not an option.
2. Reindeer smell.
3. Spending an eternity trapped at age 65.
4. You can't even look at another man without getting called a 'ho.'
5. You get your husband to yourself 364 days a year.

my next tattoo

i don't know who this dude is or where he lives, but i want to do this......


How wicked is that?! It's even coded: the pink squares are metals. The blue are metalloids, and the green are nonmetals. The only thing left to decide is where it will go. The other option is just the square of my favorite element....

This would look good (using the term relatively, of course) on the upper arm or maybe a right thigh... hmmmmm................ thinking, thinking....

Chess Jocks

i spent Saturday at a scholastic chess tournament. It was great... chess everywhere. Nothing but a gym full of nerds playing the most strategic game ever invented by man, stretching their minds and sharpening their intellects.



my students took 2nd place in this massive meeting of the minds, after two tie breakers which separated them from the winners. i came home with a massive trophy and a slew of medaled chess 'masters.' We were triumphant.

Today the chess club met to go over their games and to play bughouse, a new chess variant that they taught me briefly in the Skittles room. Incidentally, they also introduced me to the idea of plunder chess, though it requires special equipment and i have yet to play it. After club met, played, and left, i had a meeting with the elementary chess coach and our respective principals.

At this informal meeting i learned, to my dismay and near disbelief, that two of my players had gotten into a fist fight in the hallways while waiting for new pairings to be posted. Chess players! Fist fighting! i guess sometimes the stress of having to assert yourself as a man in this adolescent jungle just becomes too much. The constant thrust and parry of rooks and pawns must have overwhelmed the boys who took to each other with rampant masculine drive to assert dominance over one another.

On the up side, the football coach is now a little scared of me... all i have to do is look at him and say, "be careful, man, i'm tough, i play chess."