Tough Decision

my mom sent me an email a few days ago... the Upper School chemistry teacher is leaving Ellis.

Now, i wasn't planning on going back to Pittsburgh this year. And i do want to move to an Upper School position, but i had been thinking biology, not chemistry. i kind of figured i had one more grand, solo adventure in me before i headed home to be with family and friends five or ten years later. i took a chance on Kansas for love. i want to take a chance on me now. Go somewhere thrilling and far away.

But when i think about all those nights last year that i went home or to Perry just sobbing, missing Ellis so much, and the girls who had me looking forward to every day, it becomes more compelling. Faculty positions don't open up there very often. Most people are smart enough to know how lucky they are. And i've been teaching chemistry and physics for the last two years. Granted, not at the AP level, but i always love a challenge, and though i know it would be a lot of work, i also think i could do it.

But i had my eyes on someplace new, different, and mountainous. Santa Fe, Seattle, Idaho... the whisper of the unknown is almost irresistible to me. The vision of me in my truck, with some new "moving tapes" and another twenty five pounds lighter, bounding across the rockies to a new life.... i ache for it.

Help? Advice?

Realization, New Plans, Kansas Winter

i recently added Beth to my list of blogs and something that had struck me mildly before has really hit home as i stumbled on photos of her and Elaina, and of Robin and baby Erin.

A lot of my friends, and i mean a LOT of my friends have girls. Seriously, have y’all looked around? You all have daughters. Alli has Mac now, but other than him, it’s a bunch of girls! Andrea has two, Lauren, Rhett, and Beth each have one. i had one. Isn’t Jenny’s baby a girl? Didn’t Cheryl and G even announce that their baby will be a girl? i can’t possibly be the first to make this observation… can i?

i will post a set of before and after photos in a couple of months, when the difference is more dramatic. Another five pounds gone since i last posted!

There may be some new plans on the horizon. i can’t say anything publicly, but i’ll give you a peek under my cards: Idaho.

And since i promised you pictures, but Kansas isn’t the most photogenic state in winter, here are the best photographs i could muster of the Kansas winter…

Last weekend i went up to Topeka with a friend, to a party thrown by some of his friends. Some mutual buddies were there. We stayed at the party way too late, and by 3am were staring the drive back to Wichita down like two condemned people. So instead we went about halfway and stayed in this beautiful old farmhouse with our other buddies. Since i didn’t see it in the dark, i had no idea where i was. When we woke up we found ourselves in a ghost town! Burdick, Kansas. How do you like that? Here’s Burdick…

Blatant Bragging

i've had a lot more time in the last four months. For the first few weeks i spent it on nothing special: watching more Netflix (until they put me on the "badgirl list" for getting too many movies too fast), calling my mom and friends so often it annoyed the crap out of them, and reading the Twilight books (a true guilty pleasure).

i maintained the same bad habits i had developed while focusing all my attention on my man. i ate fast food because it was easy and, you know, fast. i stayed up too late at night. i spent my weekends on my butt on the couch or on my butt in my truck. i even took some of those habits to new levels. i think at one point i ate and entire 8x8 cake in one day. i stepped on the scale in November and found i had gained 5 pounds since the breakup. Five pounds in just four weeks!

And i realized i was going about this all wrong. i had all this time on my hands now... i could use it... on myself! So that's what i started doing. i went back to my favorite organic store, Green Acres Market, and have shopped there almost exclusively since. i started spending the time in the evenings to cook good, healthy meals that don't sit in your stomach like a rock, ala Burger King or Tyson chicken fingers.

i started going back to the gym regularly. Three times a week, at least. And on weekends? Pfft... i thought i would never fill that time and they would always approach me with a daunting cloud. i thought i was doomed to forever lay on the couch and glance hopefully at my cell phone. So i started walking. At first it was just Saturday, just three miles, around two city blocks, and back. Now i've added another mile and a half and, whenever the weather cooperates, Sunday too.

What do you know, i stepped on the scale this morning and not only have i lost that extra five pounds, but another fifteen on top of that!

It's not just the weight loss, i think, that is making me feel physically better. i have made some other resolutions, like getting enough sleep, having more bubble baths, and even little things like taking the time to paint my nails. In two months i have made myself into a healthier person, and i was just euphoric this morning when i woke up and found the results. Not that there haven't been results - i felt a rib for the first time in a year last week. i can vauguely make out a wasitline now (thanks to the oblique machine). i can lift more, walk up more stairs, and my feet don't hurt at the end of the day. But it's nice to see it numerically too.

So, sorry, i had to brag a bit. i know it's unseemly, but i'm too excited and i don't want to call up my family because i want to surprise them when i see them next.

In other news, i got my new camera! For a little over a year, i've been telling everyone who buys me presents to chuck the actual gifts and just put whatever they would have spent on a Wal-Mart card. This month i just threw in the last $50 and bought a Nikon D40. This is pretty cheesy, but i took some photos of my new camera with my old camera:



i am still figuring out all the controls, and i need to buy another lens before my Summer Adventure. But i already love it and can't wait to get out and take some landscapes. Now all i need to do is move to Maine so that i actually have some landscape to photograph!

For the moment, settle for one of Sao, fearless attack cat.

Here we go, Steelers!!

Not only was that one of the best games ever, with two of the most amazing touchdowns ever, but the night belonged to my boys. Let's hear it for the Pittsburgh STEELERS!

my day was pretty predictable. i had a chess tournament Saturday so i took the opportunity to sleep until 9:30 on Sunday. i watched a really good movie called Hard Candy, and hung with Sao. She was really getting into the hype:



After that i went for my Weekend Walk (such a routine for the past three months that it deserves capital letters) and then a drive and stopped off at the grocery store. i had to stock up on chocolate chip cookies, because i promised my students i would bake "Steeler Cookies" (chocolate chip with gold colored sprinkles) if they won. i hoped as i stood in line that i was not jinxing them.

From there i went over to watch the game with six other football fans. i was the only one rooting for the Steelers... but that ended up being ok anyway, since we, you know, won and all. my friend Amanda lives in the most beautiful apartment... i want so much to move to her complex this summer, if i'm still in Kansas.



When i got home, i immediately whipped out cookie batter and started in on the seven batches (168) that i ended up finishing right before midnight. Sao was so glad that Pittsburgh won, she decided to jump into my Steelers shopping bag and hunker down:



From the moment the game ended until the moment i went to bed and shut it off, my phone was lighting up every fifteen minutes. "How great was that touchdown by Santonio? Can you believe he was in?!" "100-yard touchdown run, and by a defensive lineman!" "Did you see them hooking Harrison up to the O2 after that one?"

"What a great day for Pittsburgh."

Today, Pittsburgh schools (including Ellis, i'm sure) are on a two-hour delay due to celebrations. How great is that? i love my city. i love my boys. Way to go, Steelers.

Oh, and hey, if you guys want some Chicken Poop so badly... send me your address by email, i'll mail you a tube!