Philadelphia
Short post because i'm busy catching up and so confused and torn...
i was offered the job in Philadelphia. No idea about salary yet, and with the increased cost of living, that might decide it. Assuming it doesn't, though... here's my dilemma...
i have a strong sense that i don't belong here. But i don't want that to beat me. i almost feel like i'd be going back to Pennsylvania with my proverbial tail betwixt my lower limbs. i'm afraid i'd always look back on Kansas as the place that won. i think if it were in Seattle or Albequerque it would feel like moving on. But going back to PA seems like copping out.
i'm many unpleasant things (insensitive, elitist, judgemental) but i don't think anyone could accuse me of being a coward. And i don't want to be one now.
On the other hand, maybe there's something to be said for knowing where you don't belong.
i also think i may want to hold out for an upper school biology position.
And it could still be a grand adventure. i could get an apartment in downtown Philadelphia. i've never lived in the middle of a big city before - where you could go out for Chinese at 2am or ride a subway from your place to your best friend's place. i would be going back, almost exactly thirty years later, to the city where i was born, though i left it when i was only two years old.
And i'd be closer to all my family... just about equidistant from my brother and parents, but far enough away to have my space.
Geez, guys, i don't know.
i was offered the job in Philadelphia. No idea about salary yet, and with the increased cost of living, that might decide it. Assuming it doesn't, though... here's my dilemma...
i have a strong sense that i don't belong here. But i don't want that to beat me. i almost feel like i'd be going back to Pennsylvania with my proverbial tail betwixt my lower limbs. i'm afraid i'd always look back on Kansas as the place that won. i think if it were in Seattle or Albequerque it would feel like moving on. But going back to PA seems like copping out.
i'm many unpleasant things (insensitive, elitist, judgemental) but i don't think anyone could accuse me of being a coward. And i don't want to be one now.
On the other hand, maybe there's something to be said for knowing where you don't belong.
i also think i may want to hold out for an upper school biology position.
And it could still be a grand adventure. i could get an apartment in downtown Philadelphia. i've never lived in the middle of a big city before - where you could go out for Chinese at 2am or ride a subway from your place to your best friend's place. i would be going back, almost exactly thirty years later, to the city where i was born, though i left it when i was only two years old.
And i'd be closer to all my family... just about equidistant from my brother and parents, but far enough away to have my space.
Geez, guys, i don't know.
posted by ellie at 10:18
4 Comments:
My opinion? Because you of course need it...
If the money is good - go.
I don't think it's cowardice that would be taking you back, but the sense for a new adventure. Even if you're from there, it's not like you're moving in with your parents again.
I agree with Alli, if the money is right, go for it. Who says you are there to stay? You could always get that job in Seattle 3 or 5 years down the road.
It's a big city. That's an adventure!
And not because I'm the least bit selfish, but Philly is a day trip for me. :) I like having people close. And I've never been to Philly, now I'll have an excuse to go visit.
Coda was a stray I picked up in college. Remember when Beth and Jeff lived in that sketchy apartment complex (and Marshall and Gary lived there too...). One of their neighbors had a cat who had kittens, but the neighbors weren't taking care of the kittens. So I took one. Ellen Moore took one too, but sadly, he passed away. It's funny, I'd never seen a cat colored like her before I got her. Now I see them all the time. I've even seen some great dane's and pit bull's colored like her. I think the vet calls it "tortoiseshell".
i'm late - but i say... if your heart is right - and the money is better... it might be the thing to go... i mean - there's exploring from PA - all the way across vt, maine, NH - there's city living which is exploring in itself - and the other direction - there's western PA which reminds me alot of western NC and i love that dearly... so - though it's not the west... it's still an adventure to be won.
and of all the things i'd EVER think of my friend, ellen... coward will never.ever.ever come to mind.
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