The Joyous Noise of Family
i haven't written anything in a while because i have been home in Pittsburgh, enjoying what might be the last Christmas holiday as i have known them, despite divorce and several moves, since my birth. Next year my father will be married and my brother will be working both days sandwiching the holiday. And though everything will be different next year, i know two things. One, thirty family Christmases is probably more than most people get. And two, no matter how we spend next year's holiday season, it will still be filled, however briefly or disjointedly, with the joyous noise of family.
This year i spent more days at home than i otherwise would have, simply due to the cheapness of plane fare. Only one day after i arrived, my brother joined me at my mother's house and we put up the tree, watched some West Wing together, and commiserated about not having an election to follow anymore. Each day we would get up, eat English muffins, go our separate ways to work out, and come back together at the end of the day for supper. my brother brought Stella Rue, his dog, and one of my favorite animals on the planet. Here's Stella:
i spoiled her to death with homemade milk bones and hour-long walks around Aspinwall. She entertained me with her tricks and her quietly enthusiastic company. She makes me want a dog in the worst way. But i know i don't have time to devote to one. Hmmph.
Dad and Dave and i went out for dinner a few times over the break as well. And since i've never posted a picture of either one of them, here are my dad and brother:
And of course we all had an evening with Chris, Shelly, Emily, and Elizabeth. i brought Emily a Creepy Crawler Bug Maker (sort of like an Easy Bake Oven, only it makes squishy spiders and worms instead of baked goods) for Christmas. i got Elizabeth a singing purse because Shelly said she liked to take things out of her real bag and hopefully this will be a distraction! They got us all copies of the yearly "Emily and Elizabeth" calender, and Shelly sighed over how predictable it was and thought maybe she should do something else for next year. To that we all replied, simultaneously, "NO!!!"
We also played a new game over there called Blokus, and i have to highly recommend it. It's a nifty game.
On Wednesday afternoon it started snowing, and hard. my mom was worried about the weather so i told her to just take me to the airport then so she sould get home while it was still light. This left me with about five hours to kill at the Pittsburgh airport. After wiling away that time, i got on a plane and flew to Minneapolis, my connection. (Minneapolis, at night, by the way, is a thing to see. It sparkles. It literally sparkles in the middle of the cold dark prairie around it.)
When i arrived, i realized that it was not only the same airport into which i had flown on my way to see Jeff for the first time since college, but also at the same gate. i was sitting at gate A6 at the Minneapolis airport, waiting to board what might have been the same flight number to Wichita, almost exactly two years later to the day. i could see the print on the window where i had leaned up and rested my forehead trying to decide whether to get on the plane and fly into the ice storm that awaited me in Kansas. i could see the wear in the carpet beside the moving walkway where i had paced back and forth on the phone, his warm and encouraging voice in my ear. i could see myself, two years younger and a little more optimistic, in the bathroom mirror, fixing my hair and making sure my makeup was... just right.
And i missed him. Big time. In the months since our breakup (i don't think mentioning it here violates my policy to not discuss it on the internet), whatever time i spent thinking about him i have only spent angry over the last correspondence we had. But that night i just had an empty suck in my chest, and for a few frightening moments i couldn't catch my breath. It was good, to not be angry for a change, to remember the spark that used to ignite whenever i thought of him, and the magic that we seemed to create around us when we were together and well. But it was also deeply sorrowful, and after a while i wanted to get out of that airport so badly i could have hijacked the nearest Cessna and piloted it myself.
When i finally got back to Wichita, i was, as predicted, waiting at Baggage Claim Carousel 1 (there are only two at Mid-Continent) as the clock struck midnight on 2009.
The midnight arrival had also been a convenience of plane fare, but i have regretted it and regretted it even more in the moment. How i greet a new year has always been very important to me. Some years i have sat at home sipping Cold Duck with my mom. Some years i have been with my best friend, Beth. Other years i have been out on the town with a big crowd, or curled up under a blanket on a couch with someone i love. i have no specific ritual, but it always has to have meaning. my mother says that i should think of it as a portend for a year of travel and excitement. i hope that's the case.
Happy New Year, everyone... now back to the grind!
This year i spent more days at home than i otherwise would have, simply due to the cheapness of plane fare. Only one day after i arrived, my brother joined me at my mother's house and we put up the tree, watched some West Wing together, and commiserated about not having an election to follow anymore. Each day we would get up, eat English muffins, go our separate ways to work out, and come back together at the end of the day for supper. my brother brought Stella Rue, his dog, and one of my favorite animals on the planet. Here's Stella:
i spoiled her to death with homemade milk bones and hour-long walks around Aspinwall. She entertained me with her tricks and her quietly enthusiastic company. She makes me want a dog in the worst way. But i know i don't have time to devote to one. Hmmph.
Dad and Dave and i went out for dinner a few times over the break as well. And since i've never posted a picture of either one of them, here are my dad and brother:
And of course we all had an evening with Chris, Shelly, Emily, and Elizabeth. i brought Emily a Creepy Crawler Bug Maker (sort of like an Easy Bake Oven, only it makes squishy spiders and worms instead of baked goods) for Christmas. i got Elizabeth a singing purse because Shelly said she liked to take things out of her real bag and hopefully this will be a distraction! They got us all copies of the yearly "Emily and Elizabeth" calender, and Shelly sighed over how predictable it was and thought maybe she should do something else for next year. To that we all replied, simultaneously, "NO!!!"
We also played a new game over there called Blokus, and i have to highly recommend it. It's a nifty game.
On Wednesday afternoon it started snowing, and hard. my mom was worried about the weather so i told her to just take me to the airport then so she sould get home while it was still light. This left me with about five hours to kill at the Pittsburgh airport. After wiling away that time, i got on a plane and flew to Minneapolis, my connection. (Minneapolis, at night, by the way, is a thing to see. It sparkles. It literally sparkles in the middle of the cold dark prairie around it.)
When i arrived, i realized that it was not only the same airport into which i had flown on my way to see Jeff for the first time since college, but also at the same gate. i was sitting at gate A6 at the Minneapolis airport, waiting to board what might have been the same flight number to Wichita, almost exactly two years later to the day. i could see the print on the window where i had leaned up and rested my forehead trying to decide whether to get on the plane and fly into the ice storm that awaited me in Kansas. i could see the wear in the carpet beside the moving walkway where i had paced back and forth on the phone, his warm and encouraging voice in my ear. i could see myself, two years younger and a little more optimistic, in the bathroom mirror, fixing my hair and making sure my makeup was... just right.
And i missed him. Big time. In the months since our breakup (i don't think mentioning it here violates my policy to not discuss it on the internet), whatever time i spent thinking about him i have only spent angry over the last correspondence we had. But that night i just had an empty suck in my chest, and for a few frightening moments i couldn't catch my breath. It was good, to not be angry for a change, to remember the spark that used to ignite whenever i thought of him, and the magic that we seemed to create around us when we were together and well. But it was also deeply sorrowful, and after a while i wanted to get out of that airport so badly i could have hijacked the nearest Cessna and piloted it myself.
When i finally got back to Wichita, i was, as predicted, waiting at Baggage Claim Carousel 1 (there are only two at Mid-Continent) as the clock struck midnight on 2009.
The midnight arrival had also been a convenience of plane fare, but i have regretted it and regretted it even more in the moment. How i greet a new year has always been very important to me. Some years i have sat at home sipping Cold Duck with my mom. Some years i have been with my best friend, Beth. Other years i have been out on the town with a big crowd, or curled up under a blanket on a couch with someone i love. i have no specific ritual, but it always has to have meaning. my mother says that i should think of it as a portend for a year of travel and excitement. i hope that's the case.
Happy New Year, everyone... now back to the grind!
posted by ellie at 17:09
2 Comments:
happy new year to you too! glad you had a good time.
Happy New Year! It is great to be with family. And New Years is just one moment in time.....make this moment a great one.
Thinking about you!
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